What is the best way to see if I can qualify for a medical marijuana license?

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Q:

Dear Nurse Jessica,

I’m a 35-year-old woman in good health. I haven’t really used cannabis all that much, but with so many dispensaries popping up all around me, I admit I’m tempted to see what all the fuss is about. It’s possible I’ve been missing out my whole life! What’s my best approach here? Walk in and fake an illness, be up front, have someone ‘boot’ for me? How much information will a dispensary want from me, how honest do I have to be, and what do they do with the information?


A:

Well, hello there 35-year-old woman in good health. Of course you’re curious, who isn’t? Especially these days with a plethora of cannabis-friendly establishments to choose from. Stress less about lost time with this divine plant and embrace her with your arms wide open.

I would never recommend someone fake an illness. Lying is toxic and it’s a waste of precious time. Always be up front. Just walk in and tell them that you’re a novice. If a dispensary can’t help, try another one, or try a local hydro shop, cannabis clinic, or vape lounge. The truth is, more people than you know have been incorporating this plant into their lives for years. My experience is that folks in the cannabis industry want to help. We like new people—it gives us professionals an opportunity to pass on some of the knowledge that has taken years to acquire.

The more relevant the information they have from you, the better. This is often used to implement precision towards products that would be best suited for you. All establishments have their own client tracking systems, so just feel it out. Since you’re in the recreational zone it’s different all over. I’m writing to you from Canada, so our laws are currently rooted in the ACMPR (Access to Cannabis for Medical Purposes Regulations). I strongly advise you become well-acquainted with marijuana laws where you live.

If I want something, I go out and get it. Don’t have someone “boot” for you. You can “boot” for yourself by putting them on your feet and walking into a cannabis establishment to ask a few questions. The marijuana vibe has called you, so have some fun with this and start hunting. You may end up wanting to work in the industry and consume very little cannabis, or even none at all.

Enjoy your introduction to cannabis like the cosmic explosion of a divine lover. Take your time with it and allow yourself to test this plant with a clear self. To truly feel the effects of different intake methods and specific strains, it’s important to do it without alcohol or dirty cigarettes. Ganja has white light angel wings, in my opinion, so why not enjoy her true? The other two have ulterior motives. Get a journal, start recording. Be present to what comes up for you and allow this plant to be your guide.

Infused creams and Epsom salts for baths are two of my favorite intake methods.

These intakes deal with pain from arthritis, inflammation, muscle tension, menstrual cramps, stress, anxiety, spasms, insomnia, and just plain healthy people getting healthier. Use an infused topical with essential oils on your temples, chest, feet, or neck to stay balanced in Babylon. The absorption through your skin is processed through your liver differently than combustion or edibles, so the effects are not comparable. These are the safest cannabis infused starters, in my opinion.

Once you rock these, I highly recommend you find what I call a “yoni plug” (aka vaginal suppository). The ones I get have cannabis infused coco butter, vitamin E oil, frankincense, clary sage, and lavender. These are the best things I have ever incorporated into my day. If you enjoy multiples, this will get you out of your head and back into your body like nothing else. Great for cramps and a perfect way to start the day before coffee.

Have some fun with this, you 35-year-old healthy goddess. This is a great opportunity for you to redefine your personal bliss with cannabis.

Nurse Jessica

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Written by Jessica Ferneyhough
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Jessica Ferneyhough, a registered practical nurse, brings a unique approach to care, empowering patients as a medicinal cannabis nurse and horses for healing advocate.

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